Quite honestly, I do not often wish to bear the cost to MYSELF, and if I choose to get rough with a subordinate, it is because I care more for their welfare than for the relationship. Call it an act of “tough love”. I had to do this for a good friend some years ago, and the negative period was brief, and he has never stopped thanking me since, because I pushed him to obtaining a professional certification which opened MANY doors for him.

During my 15 years’ service with the Armed Forces, (USAF) I held a job akin to that of a prison guard for 9 months. I was expected to give the new arrivals a “welcome they would remember” which I did with some degree of gusto, sufficiently so to be requested for 2 return engagements. The theory was “tear them down and rebuild them how they should be”. I noticed that I was harsher with my children in this time, and while I do have a great relationship with both of them many years later, I would imagine they might not report favorably on me in this 9 month period.

Anyway, the chronic state of being an asshole is one which I believe most executives, managers, etc, would be wise to nip in the bud, but that really goes back to our society’s worship of profit above all else- so all I have to say on that is- “BE THE CHANGE YOU WISH TO SEE IN THE WORLD” (Mahatma Ghandi).

Peace, and God (however yours is named) Bless
ducaati

We need a few people, in the backbone of a nation, particularly our military and pubic service, who still spell Character and Disicipline with capital letters and understand these qualities as simple, non negotiables.

Character is a bright hard line. I am not going to define it for the Robert Sutton generation, but it is not always nice or fair. Discipline is not just being a good little boy or girl and brushing your teeth and respecting others – it is the ability to act as part of a TEAM and OBEY.

These fundamentals cannot be taught by model or example. They can only be drummed in by adversity and confrontation, by someone who is willing to contront. Bob Knight understands this, as do our military veterans. Thank God someone still does.

Perhaps it’s possible for non-assholes to have some asshole moments that result in elevating performance. Does an asshole moment an asshole make? Bob Knight’s behavior isn’t periodic. It’s chronic. Nobody should want to be around, or participate in the life of, a chronic asshole (or any other toxic person). Personally, I think the price is far too high.

I enjoy your books (all of them). Pam, I enjoy this blog, too.

You might be right. There are times when demeaning people and pushing them around and making them beholden to you for their esteem does seem produce better performance. I didn’t want to do it, but because of people like Bob Knight and Steve Jobs I felt compelled to add a chapter to the book on the virtues of assholes. But assholes who are winners are still assholes and I don’t want to be around them, nor do I want any of the people I care about to be around them.

Leadership is about results. My theory is that Bob learned that his style of leadership produced the results he was looking for, and he never bothered changing his style.

Am I glad he passed away? No. I would have much rather seen him learn a bit about love and humility before the end of his days.

After me he hired a new assistant, and this person gelled with him so well, you know, ‘got’ all of his jokes, answered him back confidentally, told him where to go when needed.

Why couldn’t I be like that?

Sincerely, Olivia.

Great information, Pam!

Go Pam Go!