Comments on: How to have the “I want to quit my job” conversation with your spouse http://www.escapefromcubiclenation.com/2006/07/19/how-to-have-the-i-want-to-quit-my-job-conversation-with-your-spouse/ Fri, 10 Feb 2012 00:48:48 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v= By: Jen http://www.escapefromcubiclenation.com/2006/07/19/how-to-have-the-i-want-to-quit-my-job-conversation-with-your-spouse/comment-page-1/#comment-3974 Jen Thu, 13 Mar 2008 12:33:43 +0000 http://www.escapefromcubiclenation.com/?p=403#comment-3974 I have had the conversation, and thought it went well. Then I found out that my spouse was trying to show me support, yet holding back his fears. I had to encourage him to talk about it. One thing we did was stop listening to the news (TV, Radio) for awhile. The reason simply is that these days there is so much *bad* financial news that it tends to evoke worry (even if you are not leaving your job). Also, I too have those inner demons working me over (how could I give up the money; am I stupid;why can't I just focus;) all those negative things just make it worse. It's important to get your finances in order, put some money aside for emergencies, and learn to live on less BEFORE you do it. Also, the more I put this off the harder it gets for me to focus on anything (my business, or my corporate job) so really if you don't go through with it, you are going to regret it because you will be unhappy. There are many wealthy people who are unhappy because they followed the money instead of their dreams I suspect. I have had the conversation, and thought it went well. Then I found out that my spouse was trying to show me support, yet holding back his fears. I had to encourage him to talk about it. One thing we did was stop listening to the news (TV, Radio) for awhile. The reason simply is that these days there is so much *bad* financial news that it tends to evoke worry (even if you are not leaving your job). Also, I too have those inner demons working me over (how could I give up the money; am I stupid;why can’t I just focus;) all those negative things just make it worse. It’s important to get your finances in order, put some money aside for emergencies, and learn to live on less BEFORE you do it. Also, the more I put this off the harder it gets for me to focus on anything (my business, or my corporate job) so really if you don’t go through with it, you are going to regret it because you will be unhappy. There are many wealthy people who are unhappy because they followed the money instead of their dreams I suspect.

]]> By: mark http://www.escapefromcubiclenation.com/2006/07/19/how-to-have-the-i-want-to-quit-my-job-conversation-with-your-spouse/comment-page-1/#comment-3975 mark Wed, 02 Aug 2006 02:47:36 +0000 http://www.escapefromcubiclenation.com/?p=403#comment-3975 Hi: I discovered your site today and added it to my rss reader. I took the leap to independence on May 1, 1997 ... after 18 months of gentle discussion with my wife. We had 2 kids then, a third on the way, a mortgage, a boat payment, etc. I let her read a book during the one hour ride on the way to a friend's house. When she finished the book, she closed it, looked over at me and said, "Why don't you quit your job. We live in America, we won't starve." She is my hero. On my last day at the job back in 1997, she called my office to ask if I was still really confident. After hearing me say yes, she asked if it was okay to join the country club for the summer so the kids could join the swim team! WOW. What a champion! Regardless of what happens, she will always be my hero. Oh yeah, the book? "You can't steal second with one foot on first". I have no financial interest in the book, just telling a story. If you are the significant other of an escape planner, you have the chance to be someone's life-long hero. This story has been told to my kids, and I am sure it will be told to their kids. My wife has earned permanent, multi-genrational hero status. One last thing...Ann, if you ever read this, I love you. Hi:
I discovered your site today and added it to my rss reader. I took the leap to independence on May 1, 1997 … after 18 months of gentle discussion with my wife. We had 2 kids then, a third on the way, a mortgage, a boat payment, etc. I let her read a book during the one hour ride on the way to a friend’s house. When she finished the book, she closed it, looked over at me and said, “Why don’t you quit your job. We live in America, we won’t starve.” She is my hero.

On my last day at the job back in 1997, she called my office to ask if I was still really confident. After hearing me say yes, she asked if it was okay to join the country club for the summer so the kids could join the swim team! WOW. What a champion! Regardless of what happens, she will always be my hero.

Oh yeah, the book? “You can’t steal second with one foot on first”. I have no financial interest in the book, just telling a story.

If you are the significant other of an escape planner, you have the chance to be someone’s life-long hero. This story has been told to my kids, and I am sure it will be told to their kids. My wife has earned permanent, multi-genrational hero status.

One last thing…Ann, if you ever read this, I love you.

]]> By: Murali http://www.escapefromcubiclenation.com/2006/07/19/how-to-have-the-i-want-to-quit-my-job-conversation-with-your-spouse/comment-page-1/#comment-3976 Murali Sat, 29 Jul 2006 21:35:19 +0000 http://www.escapefromcubiclenation.com/?p=403#comment-3976 It came as a big surprise to see this post. No entrenreneur will jump on day-one on the journey towards having own business, to quit his/her job. By the time he/she decide to quit, he/she must have worked on lots of stuff towards his own business. I can not think of a situation where you are putting so much extra effort on some thing you are passionate about, and your spouse does not even know about it and you have to have a 'conversation' about it. ____ You may be surprised to know Murali that many, many people struggle with introducing this topic for the first time with their spouse. I know because I have personally talked to hundreds of them over the years, and read lots and lots of emails from others since I started this blog. Perhaps the title threw you off. What I was really talking about was introducing the concept of self-employment to your spouse for the first time. Obviously, as you stated, by the time someone has worked on a business idea long enough to give notice at their job, their spouse better well have been informed. It is not just an issue of leaving a job to start a new business, it is also an issue for someone who wants to change careers. Many people are afraid of change and do not encourage their spouse to rock the boat of stability. All the best, -Pam It came as a big surprise to see this post. No entrenreneur will jump on day-one on the journey towards having own business, to quit his/her job. By the time he/she decide to quit, he/she must have worked on lots of stuff towards his own business. I can not think of a situation where you are putting so much extra effort on some thing you are passionate about, and your spouse does not even know about it and you have to have a ‘conversation’ about it.

____

You may be surprised to know Murali that many, many people struggle with introducing this topic for the first time with their spouse. I know because I have personally talked to hundreds of them over the years, and read lots and lots of emails from others since I started this blog. Perhaps the title threw you off. What I was really talking about was introducing the concept of self-employment to your spouse for the first time. Obviously, as you stated, by the time someone has worked on a business idea long enough to give notice at their job, their spouse better well have been informed.

It is not just an issue of leaving a job to start a new business, it is also an issue for someone who wants to change careers. Many people are afraid of change and do not encourage their spouse to rock the boat of stability.

All the best,
-Pam

]]> By: Shan Serran http://www.escapefromcubiclenation.com/2006/07/19/how-to-have-the-i-want-to-quit-my-job-conversation-with-your-spouse/comment-page-1/#comment-3977 Shan Serran Fri, 28 Jul 2006 16:21:21 +0000 http://www.escapefromcubiclenation.com/?p=403#comment-3977 This article almost brought me to tears because I made all the mistakes you posted. I told my wife over the phone, we had financial stress and argued in front of my 2 year old son. I was so frustrated with my current job at the time because it was a replacement job after I was laid off. I was seriously sick of the man! I regret my actions during that time and feel so bad for my wife and what she had to put up with. I was so selfish at the time, but I wasn't getting the full support I needed. My wife didn't want to take the risk and I told her it was worth it to be much happier. This article almost brought me to tears because I made all the mistakes you posted. I told my wife over the phone, we had financial stress and argued in front of my 2 year old son. I was so frustrated with my current job at the time because it was a replacement job after I was laid off. I was seriously sick of the man! I regret my actions during that time and feel so bad for my wife and what she had to put up with. I was so selfish at the time, but I wasn’t getting the full support I needed. My wife didn’t want to take the risk and I told her it was worth it to be much happier.

]]> By: Anna Farmery http://www.escapefromcubiclenation.com/2006/07/19/how-to-have-the-i-want-to-quit-my-job-conversation-with-your-spouse/comment-page-1/#comment-3978 Anna Farmery Mon, 24 Jul 2006 10:28:33 +0000 http://www.escapefromcubiclenation.com/?p=403#comment-3978 My partner was hugely supportive. The conversation I had was with my inner demons....you should appreciate an Exec job, people dream of being as successful, why would you give that up, its too risky, I am not good enough, etc then my dad died and I realised life is short to be putting these dreams off until tomorrow. So for me I had to say to my wonderful partner....yeah, you are right! My partner was hugely supportive. The conversation I had was with my inner demons….you should appreciate an Exec job, people dream of being as successful, why would you give that up, its too risky, I am not good enough, etc then my dad died and I realised life is short to be putting these dreams off until tomorrow. So for me I had to say to my wonderful partner….yeah, you are right!

]]> By: Matthew Scott http://www.escapefromcubiclenation.com/2006/07/19/how-to-have-the-i-want-to-quit-my-job-conversation-with-your-spouse/comment-page-1/#comment-3979 Matthew Scott Fri, 21 Jul 2006 16:47:43 +0000 http://www.escapefromcubiclenation.com/?p=403#comment-3979 Pam really hits on some key points with this article. She mentions in article my struggles with this conversation and I can only say I wish I had this guidance two years ago. My wife is great and takes my dreamer vision and applies a well-thought out transition plan. 7 months later after "figuring it out" on the Oregon coastline she prepared the financial plan and the way we would communicate to our loved ones to make my dream a reality. Pam I both wrote about this topic because of how important it is to build our support & accountability team within our own house. Pam really hits on some key points with this article. She mentions in article my struggles with this conversation and I can only say I wish I had this guidance two years ago.
My wife is great and takes my dreamer vision and applies a well-thought out transition plan. 7 months later after “figuring it out” on the Oregon coastline she prepared the financial plan and the way we would communicate to our loved ones to make my dream a reality.
Pam I both wrote about this topic because of how important it is to build our support & accountability team within our own house.

]]> By: Ariane Benefit from NeatLiving.Net http://www.escapefromcubiclenation.com/2006/07/19/how-to-have-the-i-want-to-quit-my-job-conversation-with-your-spouse/comment-page-1/#comment-3980 Ariane Benefit from NeatLiving.Net Thu, 20 Jul 2006 18:11:14 +0000 http://www.escapefromcubiclenation.com/?p=403#comment-3980 When I had the Conversation with my husband I worked up a home budget spreadsheet showing best and worst case scenarios in meeting our monthly bills. I included a list of all the areas where I could cut our monthly expenses and what we would save in my commuting expenses etc. Before quitting I knew exactly the minimum amount of money I needed to bring in monthly and presented a back up plan for earning that money if my new business didn't produce a profit within 6 months. Thankfully, the business has become profitable and I haven't had to exercise the backup plan. But it comforting to my husband to have one. Leaving cubicle nation was the best decision I ever made! When I had the Conversation with my husband I worked up a home budget spreadsheet showing best and worst case scenarios in meeting our monthly bills. I included a list of all the areas where I could cut our monthly expenses and what we would save in my commuting expenses etc.

Before quitting I knew exactly the minimum amount of money I needed to bring in monthly and presented a back up plan for earning that money if my new business didn’t produce a profit within 6 months. Thankfully, the business has become profitable and I haven’t had to exercise the backup plan. But it comforting to my husband to have one. Leaving cubicle nation was the best decision I ever made!

]]> By: robert http://www.escapefromcubiclenation.com/2006/07/19/how-to-have-the-i-want-to-quit-my-job-conversation-with-your-spouse/comment-page-1/#comment-3981 robert Thu, 20 Jul 2006 17:24:03 +0000 http://www.escapefromcubiclenation.com/?p=403#comment-3981 And never ever begin this type of conversation via a mobile text. You will so be the loser! And never ever begin this type of conversation via a mobile text.

You will so be the loser!

]]> By: Bryan C. Fleming http://www.escapefromcubiclenation.com/2006/07/19/how-to-have-the-i-want-to-quit-my-job-conversation-with-your-spouse/comment-page-1/#comment-3982 Bryan C. Fleming Thu, 20 Jul 2006 12:44:58 +0000 http://www.escapefromcubiclenation.com/?p=403#comment-3982 If you can't get your spouse to agree to let you leave your job, then start a part time business. Once your little part time business starts earning more money than your job they'll change their tune. What will happen at that point is your money problems will vanish. They'll also respect what you're doing. - Bryan http://www.bryancfleming.com If you can’t get your spouse to agree to let you leave your job, then start a part time business. Once your little part time business starts earning more money than your job they’ll change their tune.

What will happen at that point is your money problems will vanish. They’ll also respect what you’re doing.

- Bryan
http://www.bryancfleming.com

]]> By: Ben Fulton http://www.escapefromcubiclenation.com/2006/07/19/how-to-have-the-i-want-to-quit-my-job-conversation-with-your-spouse/comment-page-1/#comment-3983 Ben Fulton Thu, 20 Jul 2006 12:32:01 +0000 http://www.escapefromcubiclenation.com/?p=403#comment-3983 I haven't had "the conversation" but I've thrown out feelers. She had exactly three concerns: Health insurance, health insurance, and health insurance. I suspect I won't be leaving my job unless Hillary Clinton is elected president :) I haven’t had “the conversation” but I’ve thrown out feelers. She had exactly three concerns: Health insurance, health insurance, and health insurance. I suspect I won’t be leaving my job unless Hillary Clinton is elected president :)

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